The Dark Side of Dating: Reasons to Hate the Dating Stage

Every romantic relationship evolves according to some regular pattern. Acquaintance, courting, first date, the sweet period of dating, relationship, marriage. This is the full scenario. Some love stories go through all stages, some don’t. Irrespective of the outcome, the dating stage (together with courting) is the most important period. It is also said to be the most romantic and beautiful. But is it really so? Just think about anxiety and nervousness you have to bear on the first dates. Well, happy moments overshadow all negative experiences. Still, the dating stage has a number of drawbacks, which disappear later in the relationship stage. I analyzed all possible downsides and came up with the reasons why I hate dating.

  • Worrying about every trifle.
    The first few weeks or even months are the most nerve-wracking. You don’t want to pull a boner, so you control every move. Women don’t want their boyfriends to see them tired/without makeup/sick/disappointed, so they do their best to keep a positive image. This is one of the reasons why women hate dating. Men’s task is to impress their dates, so they want to seem ideal as long as possible. This is one of the reasons why men hate dating. It prevents both parties from showing their true natures, which they finally do during the stage of a stable relationship, when they already know each other’s merits and flaws.
  • A lot of trouble.
    Both men and women carefully prepare for the first and further dates. Men come up with new and new date venues and ways to entertain their date, while women rack their brains over what to wear for the next date to look perfect. Of course, all this results in interesting yes dates, but the relationship is supposed to be simple and non-restrained. Since much effort is put into the dating stage, it seems the most romantic period of all relationship stages.
  • Sweet illusions.
    You don’t want to show your dark side, so does your partner. As a result, your relationship seems utopian. Especially if you meet online. Many people hate online dating because they’re afraid real dates will be not so smooth. You are in love, and your feelings dominate your critical thinking. When that chemistry wears off, you begin to notice each other’s imperfections. If it’s real love, you’ll accept and put up with all your partner’s flaws. At this stage, you’ll have your first fight. And this is where the real relationship starts.
  • Frequent but not quality sex.
    Some people decide to have sex on a first date, some wait a bit longer. As two people are still in the process of getting to know each other better both in emotional and physical aspects, they can have sex frequently, but they may not get the most of it. Later, sex will be secondary in their relationship, but it will be more satisfying. When the passionate phase, aka dating, finishes, two partners focus more on their emotional bond. They also discuss their intimate life and care about each other’s satisfaction more.
  • Hiding one’s flaws.
    It’s natural to want to seem better than you are when you want to impress the object of your romantic interest. You might not notice some of your partner’s shortcomings, which later may result in a huge frustration. Although the dating stage make people better, you never know when these charms cease to work.
  • Devastating passion.
    It’s impossible to keep the whole palette of feelings alive forever. As it was mentioned, wild passion will gradually vanish. And it’s good. Because constant love fire in your soul is quite exhausting. The post-dating stage of a relationship is more placid and solid.
  • This will end or transform.
    When dating some person, you constantly think where this relationship is heading. You want to understand whether you should go long-term or go separate ways. And this is why many people hate the dating phase.

So what do you think about it all?

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